I look back at January 23rd 2002 and I know exactly how I felt that morning.
I was nervous as hell.
I was stuck in traffic.
I was tapping the steering wheel anxiously.
I was listening to Tom Jobim play Desafinado.
And I had forgotten the ring.
My whole life I have tried to not be the cliche, and here I was the morning of my wedding, heading to Salt Lake as the dude who was getting married and forgot the ring.
What a dope. (Fortunately by then I had the old cellular telephone, so a call to my mommy solved the problem, but seriously…I had to call my mom? What was I twelve?)
When Tia and I decided to get married it was based entirely on impulse, we were young, we didn’t know any better and we figured it was the next logical step.
(To say we also weren’t a couple of mormon kids totally motivated by sex would be a lie)
And everything that happened after that was also entirely impulsive, we kept changing things, and moving the date closer and making decisions from a space of reacting to things going on around us.
All so we could marry someone we knew almost nothing about.
We took a huge risk.
We could have fallen on our faces.
It was just dumb luck that we didn’t.
Okay maybe not dumb luck.
I tell people I have a cool relationship with my wife, which is an understatement. But it was something that has taken work.
Not the kind of tedious slavish work that we dread, but it has been work.
18 years of working together.
18 years of talking together.
18 years of growing in the same direction.
18 years of not being afraid of the hard conversations.
18 years of wins and losses.
And that’s just the thing, through it all we have shared one understanding, that She and I are a team, and that in all aspects of life we show up for each other, we defend each other, we don’t speak ill of each other .
And as a result it has also been 18 years of joy.
18 years of having a partner.
18 years of knowing someone out there cares about me as much as I care about them.
18 years of “third goodbyes.”
18 years of “thumb kisses.”
18 years of waking up not believing that marriage really can be this good.
But it is.
Because I made an impulsive decision 18 years ago, and even though I didn’t know what I was getting into and even though I forgot the ring and even though I had no business asking her to be my accomplice in all of this…
I will never regret it.
Best. Stupid decision. Ever.