Sometimes I don’t feel like an impostor anymore.

This is a good thing.

Back when I started these daily musings I had a hard time defining myself as a writer, even though I have been writing something or another for most of my life, be it music, poetry, or these think pieces.

There always seems to be a moment thought where no matter how hard you try to fight it you feel like you will always be going down the road of “fake it til you make it.”

I hate the idea of “fake it til you make it.”

But you feel that way…like an impostor who is not really the thing you want to be.

And I realized that for me, it’s the external validation that makes a difference, I realize I should be more internally driven, I realize that I shouldn’t be connected to the opinions of other people. But I am. So I have to embrace it.

The idea of my neuroticism being a “feature not a bug” has been one of the more empowering concepts I have come across in the last few years.

And that external validation?

I used to see it as a bug.

Until I started making real progress.

Then it became a feature.

Right now I am starting to comb through all my old posts and put together the makings of a book, it’s a huge pain in the ass and I might have to disappear into the middle of nowhere for a few days just to get the compilation done.

But I only have all that content to comb through because I told people it would be happening every day, so I write every day.

And lo and behold in a few months I will have a book with my name on the cover.

Self published?

Hell yes.

But still…

I will have finally written a damn book.

And once that one is done?

On to the next one.

Carry on.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *