Buttons

My little brother knew instinctively just how to get responses from me. And the most frustrating thing about it was that I didn’t seem to have the ability to fight it. He just knew how to push my buttons. It may have been one of the earliest instances of me ceding my power to someone else, […]

I Choose Me

I am choosing myself. That’s the answer. For months I have been in the hurricane, trying to weigh things out and look at different possible futures and how those futures might look. I have been tearing apart each possible situation and looking at how it all shakes out. I have been putting all the major players […]

Play The Long Game

Peace. I finally have a bit of it. There is something I tell my people all the time. It’s one of the things that is really the bedrock of living to your full potential. And I feel kind of stupid, because I have been in this whirlwind for months now, spinning myself out of control.  When […]

Fast

I have always felt a little awkward in my own skin. But never so much as how I felt from about the age of 10 to the age of 14. I felt trapped inside the body I had, it wasn’t tall enough, it felt too pudgy and clumsy. My limbs didn’t seem to work quite right, […]

Hard

I have lived easy. And I have lived hard. Sometimes I say things to people like “choose hard things, they are more rewarding.” And I believe them in the moment. I really do buy my own BS from time to time. But you know, sometimes…I miss easy. I have chosen hard a lot, I have decided […]

Thanks

It’s not easy living your life like this. I have to measure how much I am going to share with how much I am going to keep to myself. Choosing to share my personal journey wasn’t a decision I made lightly. It wasn’t even a decision I made all at once. Little by little I got […]

Sad

Anxiety is kind of a weird thing to deal with on the daily. Mostly because you are always expecting it, yet it crops up and still manages to surprise you. Like you get ready for an anxiety attack to come at you from where you can see, but anxiety is more like the hand that reaches […]

Letting Go

(A word of warning, today’s post is pretty heavy) Letting go. Seems like the simplest possible thing to do. You just… let go. Whatever it might be, fear, expectations, outcomes, the vision of the life you had, relationships, a job, the version of yourself that you have built, the past, guilt, shame, anything really. There are […]

Boundaries

Boundaries. I have only recently learned what they are. I thought I got it before. I was wrong. My journey of self discovery for the last year or so has been enlightening, it has led me to some very cool realizations about myself, as well as some discoveries about myself that have been pretty tough to […]

Extremes

Extremes. Somehow we have all been sold a bill of goods that the power is in the extremes. And we have seen it so often in our world lately. Politically… Socially… Philosophically… We have been told that the only way to generate movement is to be polarizing.  But we haven’t paid attention to who is telling […]