I ran away.
I just…packed a bag and ran away.
I guess it wasn’t so simple as all of that, but the fact of the matter is last Wednesday I decided to run away and last Thursday I ran away…far away
I drove out into the middle of nowhere in the desert in southern Utah and spent some days by myself.
Just me, and the cows, and the llamas, and the occasional coyote.
And the red cliffs.
There was no cell service (at least almost no cell service)
There were no other people.
I had never done anything like that before, for most of my life I have assumed that I need people to get by. Like I have assumed that I lack the emotional stability to just be by myself. Turns out, I do just fine.
I have made no secret that things have been kind of tough for me lately, I have been purposefully vague but some of you have read between the lines, and some of you know what I am going through, and for those of you that have reached out, thank you. For real.
I needed some time for myself, I needed to think, and write, and sing (dear God I sang so much into the void)
Most importantly I needed time to not have to be “Keith” for a few days.
I would love to say I discovered the secrets of the universe.
I would love to say I solved the problems I have been struggling with.
I would love to say I know exactly what to do from here.
But I did encounter myself out there. I had to sit down face to face with me and have a conversation about who I am, who I want to be, and how to square those two people.
I did learn about myself.
And I think that’s what I needed, because now the real work begins.
Time to unravel 40 years of being “Keith.”
And time to just be me.